ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
