Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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