i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
its not stalking. its research.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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