i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize