Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
