when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
