so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
