I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
