i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
