Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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