So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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