hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize