Taylor Swift is so right about you.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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