Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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