Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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