And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize