Its about making memories worth repressing
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
