Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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