Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
