i think my tv is drunk
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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