One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize
