how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
