1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Randomize
