I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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