You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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