people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
