So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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