Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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