I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
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just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
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Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.