Texts From Last Night

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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?

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  (608): hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests? http://tfl.nu/uq87
  Replies (17) Good night (704) Bad night (4828)
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  (631): View more from New York

  there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"

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  (631): there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship" http://tfl.nu/t0by
  Replies (24) Good night (1364) Bad night (3948)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.

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  (419): He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina. http://tfl.nu/bo6z
  Replies (23) Good night (1033) Bad night (7573)
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  (530): View more from California

  We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.

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  (530): We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers. http://tfl.nu/jnk6
  Replies (17) Good night (4449) Bad night (1121)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.

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  (918): It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin. http://tfl.nu/vso7
  Replies (13) Good night (3748) Bad night (1081)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour

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  (859): will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour http://tfl.nu/165f
  Replies (4) Good night (1737) Bad night (612)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub

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  (334): What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub http://tfl.nu/it3y
  Replies (4) Good night (1240) Bad night (619)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  ...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.

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  (203): ...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus. http://tfl.nu/rgdm
  Replies (4) Good night (902) Bad night (487)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?

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  (720): Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay? http://tfl.nu/yxii
  Replies (2) Good night (583) Bad night (512)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink

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  (812): his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink http://tfl.nu/s3j7
  Replies (3) Good night (1267) Bad night (368)
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  (530): View more from California

  hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back

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  (530): hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back http://tfl.nu/8xnm
  Replies (1) Good night (734) Bad night (338)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this

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  (602): My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this http://tfl.nu/kojj
  Replies (1) Good night (592) Bad night (340)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.

  (804): View more from Virginia

  This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.

  (804): View more from Virginia

  You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.

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  (757): As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar. (804): This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper. (804): You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life. http://tfl.nu/w5j4
  Replies (4) Good night (754) Bad night (335)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening

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  (501): When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening http://tfl.nu/gsvb
  Replies (1) Good night (417) Bad night (544)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was

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  (301): I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was http://tfl.nu/qgt5
  Replies (1) Good night (754) Bad night (278)

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