Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize