and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
