and you said cock pushups were impossible
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Randomize
