how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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