He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i came on her dog
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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