i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
