I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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