Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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