I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
