but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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