I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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