party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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