his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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