does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
