Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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