i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
