WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Someone shattered a urinal.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
