Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
