That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize