It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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