No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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