i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We talked him into tasing himself.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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