i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
