I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
