Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize