I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
