We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
