THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
