I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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