why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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