i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
