I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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