You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
