shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
home. puking in laundry basket.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
