Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
